Friday, May 8, 2009

some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit...

okay i am long over due in telling the story of the aforementioned link that is in connection with the picture of the two crated dogs.

Orangeburg, May 2nd, 2009. My Wee-One, Sophia has been in heat for a few days. so, my brilliant self decides to borrow my aunt's 9 month old teacup Chihuahua, Rocco. (also, for any other MAJAH GG's fan out there, i am reminded of the episode in which sophia's bf, Rocco, pretends to rob that bank.) "but i digress," my aunt said that he's been,... 'practicing on the cats,' so i felt assured it was good to go.

how deliciously naive was i to think that it would be easy as a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, kinda thing. noooooooooo, not easy for me. ask me anything you want to about most any breed and i can tell you. i once had a great teacher about dogs, so i know a good lil bit. i thought that when the bitch was in heat, you could just put her together with the stud and BAM! yeah,... apparently not. my younger mini-me, my lil brother, E, and i get the brilliant idea to shack the two would-be love birds up into the bathroom.

hump Pictures, Images and Photos {gay pride unicorns humping} Pictures, Images and Photos mouse humping mouse Pictures, Images and Photos

well being the sophisticated geniuses that my brother and i are, we get to thinking, "how the hell are we going to know if we leave them in them overnight if they did it or not?" so what do we do? we, ladies and gentlesouls, devise an UMMMMMMMMMMMMAZING setup in the bathroom with the webcam. yeah baby. this isn't your 20th century backwoods dog breeder's playpen, baby. no. we're SOPHISTI-MAH-CATED. think britney spears edumacated. be jealous.
genius Pictures, Images and Photos Genius Pictures, Images and Photos Genius Pictures, Images and Photos

yeah. i was texting my BFF, about how this was all absolutely insane. therefore, my WONDERFUL text was born, that you saw on i was pretty proud of that fantastic line. yeah. thats just genius all the way around right there. you just WISH you had talent like that. haters.
Texting Pictures, Images and Photos talented Pictures, Images and Photos haterssss Pictures, Images and Photos
to sum up this damn story, it was an EPIC FAIL. like SERIOUSLY. the damn dog did everything but the damn deed. my dog was the welcoming slut that she needed to be. all of those hours spent studying Blanche didn't go to waste for my little girl!! but nooooo, Rocco would.NOT.perform. i told my lil brother, E, that Rocco was defective. like a reject from the doggy breeding factory. seriously. ugh. so it would seem that the story ends here, correct? yeah, that would be nice, but no, my dear interwebbers, no. it doesn't end there. apparently my wee-one is hard to resist because now we have a twisted semi-incestuous situation happening now. my darling, adorable grumpy old man, harley, has now taken it upon himself to screw her brains out. they have, well,... pardon moi bluntness here,...but they've gone so far as to have gotten STUCK. no big deal, other than the gross factor right? yeah well. my grumpy old man,... got.FIXED.FOUR.YEARS.AGO. yeahhhh... take THAT, rocco. THAT is how its done, ya lil factory reject. harley is THE man.... too bad its with his adopted sister... and too bad its all in vain. /sigh.
FAIL Pictures, Images and Photos
blanche Pictures, Images and Photos
Dog love train Pictures, Images and Photos