Tuesday, March 31, 2009

i've resigned myself to watching MY GIRL even tho i know i'll cry. silly me. i so should've been a 70s kid. the clothes frikkin rock!

yakkity yak

I hate not having the interwebs. She's my friend and i greatly miss playing with her. But on the bright side- we are moved into our new house and we LOVE it!!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

he has verbal diarrhea and mental constipation.

today, my clown of a son, my youngest furbaby, decided that the bumble bee flying just above his head would be a delightful toy to jump at and try to chomp on. yes, such a bright child, he is. although his grandmother would defend his intelligence til the day she dies, i do think that as handsome as my son is indeed,...i must say, his slinky is so kinked it won’t slink.
Photobucket Slinky Dog Pictures, Images and Photos
Photobucket Photobucket

to save my child from having a truly shittastic day, i had to bonk him in his head. you see, he was at our back porch steps lunging at this antiquated winged monster. as he began barking and lunging, he infuriated the aeronautical beast which then started to dart back and forth profusely around my child. the creature shot straight up into the air with its butt pointed downwards (very reminescent of the butt shaking cockroach) and began to make its downward dive with my son's head baring the bullseye.
Bee Suit Pictures, Images and Photos bee Pictures, Images and Photos LET IT BEE Pictures, Images and Photos it\'s a bee Pictures, Images and Photos
in a truely maternal fashion, i timed it just right to swing open the screen door and bang my child in his head and thus knocking the flying killer out of its intended path. hopefully i knocked sense into my boy, because he chose that moment to spring up the back porch steps and bolt inside to the safety of his mother. i hope i didn't cause any further drain bamage. there's nothing like a mother's love, i tell ya.

Mom Pictures, Images and Photos mom Pictures, Images and Photos
and alas, apparently even though i can be a bad ass super mom and save my son from a bee on the kill, i am also a bad mom. i'd like to think that maybe i am a mom with a bad memory, with a touch of that funny southern senility... because those would explain why i forgot the aforementioned son's birthday this month. our little charmer mcstudmuffin turned three years old. it seems like just yesterday he was dropped on his head. as a pup, he was oddly portioned. his head didn't match his body, nor did his feet. but he was a cute fat little pork belly. and he still is an utterly adorable, pork belly, comedian, mama and grandmama's baby boy.

newest art work.

***for whatever slightly delusional reason, blogger is not playing nicely with me this evening, so for explanations of these two pictures, please look underneath them. bad blogger, bad!!****

a few years ago, i gave my honey four alaskan outdoors original art work prints. i got them framed for her so that they could be proudly displayed in our bedroom in our new home. i hate boring light switch face plates. soooo... i did what any good artisticly creative lesbian wife would do; i called upon my inner muse. i painted the face plate to collaborate with one of the four prints i gave her. not too terribly bad, if i do say so myself!! what you see is the plate i painted beside the print, then a closeup of the face plate i painted.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

the toilet's a slut.

i had an interesting conversation with one of my besties via text last night.
i was inquiring about her upset tummy that she's had for a few days,
and decided to get a lil creative in my questioning.

Me: Sooo... Ya bum still romancing le toilet?
Her: Not as much thank goodness.
Me: Good. Ya bum can do better than that toilet anyways. That toilet is a slut. She sees other bums, she smells funny, and she swallows.
Her: LoL swings too.
Me: Filthy whore.
Her: That's ok I'm cheating with the other one.
Me: I hope you're using protection. Never know what diseases that harlot has!
Her: LoL yeah Scott t.p.
LoL. We're nuts. You are aware of that rt?
Her: LoL that's what makes us, well, us.

Stay Silly Pictures, Images and Photos
BFF Pictures, Images and Photos omg! bff! Pictures, Images and Photos
CRAZY Pictures, Images and Photos crazy Pictures, Images and Photos
left field toilet Pictures, Images and Photos WHORE Pictures, Images and Photos

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

check list:

brand new queen size mattress set- check.
Seriously Pictures, Images and Photos
appliances in the house- check.
{waiting for sears corporation to hold to their word on replacing hose on refrigerator
-annoying not checked.
fridge icon Pictures, Images and Photos
blinds- frustratingly checked.
awesome handmade dachshund clock- delivered.
taping cardboard boxes up blindfolded- check.
love you like a hobo loves cardboard boxes Pictures, Images and Photos
sweet farmer's tan- check.
finally finding ear mite medicine for kittykitty- check.
boxing up bathroom- check.
boxing up computer room- currently in mid progress.
Glass half fixed Pictures, Images and Photos
waiting on lady at mortgage company to tell us what closing costs will be- frustrated with anticipation.
light at the end of the tunnel- in sight.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

i has a heartwarming funnies for joo...

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

merci beaucoup....

when i was a little girl i had big dreams i wanted to chase and even bigger fairy tales i wanted to come true. i think we are screwing our children over by encouraging them to believe that fairy tales are real instead of just a figment of childrens' stories. fairy tales belong in disney world. if the moms of the world would just add on a clause at the end of every bedtime story that notes fairy tales aren't real, a lot of unecessary heartache could be easily prevented. chasing fairy tales is equivalent to chasing a fart in the wind.
fart Pictures, Images and Photos farting Pictures, Images and Photos
i think now as an adult i can look back in retrospect at past relationships, fucks, and what nots with a clear hindsight. i've never wanted to admit it before, but there was an obvious case of clearcut fear of comittment. i ruined relationships and friendships alike because of this insane notion. i realize that Buddhism teaches us that nothing is permanent, but i wish i'd realized earlier that things can last, if anything, for a substancial amount of time. i know how careless, wreckless, wild, rebellious, callous, deceitful, and plain stupid i was back in my past. i hate that now, as i hurt some good people and did nothing but hurt myself in the longrun. i have worked this out within myself, and only have one regret amongst all of that chaos.
lovin my buddha belly Pictures, Images and Photos Clap one hand if you love buddha Pictures, Images and Photos
stupid Pictures, Images and Photos
We hurt people ... Pictures, Images and Photos forgiveness Pictures, Images and Photos
if you had told me five or ten years ago that i would be married, building a new house, have a gaggle of dogs and a cat, and thinking about possible baby daddies, i'd have prolly called you a liar and 'kicked ya in the taco.' i never thought in a million years that i would settle down and allow somebody to love me the way i deserve. somehow i found her. we found each other. she is far from perfect, as she has many flaws. raving and ranting about simple things is one that i can't help but to secretly laugh at. how she can get so worked up over the most minute of things just tickles me. she is so cute when she rants. she fusses about our furbabies sleeping in our bed with us. i suspect that she secretly likes it, but she'd just assume to rip her throat out before admitting that to me. sure, the smallest of our canines is the biggest bed hog, and kitty kitty is restless and won't quit kneading on top of our bodies... but i think she loves it.
mad Pictures, Images and Photos
i never thought i'd be where i'm at today. i don't think any of us think that though. this i do know, i am unbelievable thankful and blessed to have such a perfectly imperfect wife that is all mine. i still don't know what i did to deserve her. maybe it was my guardian angels looking out for me. whatever the case may be, i have a full heart these days instead of a broken one. today marks our two year wedding anniversary and our four year anniversary together. i can't thank my stars enough for all of this fulfillment.
happiness Pictures, Images and Photos missing Pictures, Images and Photos
happiness Pictures, Images and Photos