Sunday, June 28, 2009

fuckery, weiners, and everyday love.

have all of the planets fallen out of alignment or something? seriously, because something fucking weird is going down. billy mays died. you know, the REALLY ANNOYING oxiclean guy. what kind of fuckery is that?! when i wrote in a previous post before MJ died, i pondered who would be the third celebrity to follow ed and farrah. be damn if no sooner than i sent that blog post out into the rabbit hole of the interwebs did the king of pop die. i'm hesitant to question who'll be suceeding the oxiclean guy. (on a twisted note, who'll scream at us on the infomercials now? billy died and vince the sham wow guy is supposedly in the pen. whatever shall the ignorant masses follow now?!)
Billy mays Pictures, Images and Photos
i've almost finished sanding down my wiener. i still have a bit more to smooth out on it but as you can see, it is shaping up quite nicely, i think. i'm going to be staining it and putting some more finishing touches on it. then i'll begin on its mirror counterpart to complete the pair. then i guess we'll see if i decide to put it on etsy.

today prevailed to be quite interesting, as opposed to what i thought would be yet another routine, boring day. i managed to: tackle the wife, get the majority of the laundry washed and dried, and smoked out the house (though not the illegal way). yeah. interrrrrrrresting. on a everyday-run of the mill boring house wife note on stuff i did today,... i replanted some bulbs and talked recipes with my mama. yes, life is good.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

sweet summertime.

sacreligious phenomenon and art.

i find myself being drawn into this hyped up Michael Jackson mania,...somewhat. let me explain. i'm sort of not really getting into putting him on this seemingly saint-like immortal pedestal that the rest of the damn civilization has bestowed upon him. its literally like a pill was given to the masses upon his death that somehow melts all intelligence brain cells within everyone's heads. is everybody forgetting about the Jesus Juice and allegations of child abuse? why is the world shocked that his demise was drug related? we watched his train wreck happen. i mean, we are currently watching the lindsey lohan train wreck, aren't we? we thought we were watching the britney spears trainwreck, but her family intervened. (albeit most likely for financial purposes, we lest we can hope the intervention is working so she does not meet the same fate as elvis, marilyn monroe, anna nicole smith, and now michael jackson.) we as a society, have a morbidly twisted, sick fascination with train wrecks. we can't peal our eyes away from it, think its a crying shame, but feed the machine too. a culture of hypocrits.

and speaking of hypocrits, let me make mention of our evidently Biblical govenor, Mark Sanford.
if i were a real christian, i'd be pissed at his self referencing false prophecy. seriously, comparing your fuck up to King David? i know he's trying to appeal to his holy roller voters by begging for their forgiveness. the whole damn thing is ludacris to begin with.

i'm still working on the wooden weiner and having immense fun doing so. i'm having more fun than i thought i would. my wife has cleared out a spot in my art room and i couldn't be happier than a pig in shit. yay!!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

wooden weiner progress...part tres.


i am an avid believer that things come in threes, especially deaths. we have ed mcmahon and farrah fawcett up first. who'll take the third slot? nobody i know personally, i hope. and by the damn way, what is this fuckery with our oh-so-righteously pious govenor of SC, mark sanford? there is a reason behind his publicly admitting his affair and i'm suspicious as to what it is. politicians have affairs. point blank. that's just the way it is. personally the only possible lucrative enticement to boinking ANY politician for is financial gain. and i'm sorry, but i am so not about to eat mexican with elizabeth dole and suck lollipops with lindsey graham. ain't happenin, captain.

some funny quips i've heard pertaining to the sanford scandal:

*** ....he did not want a stimulus package...he wanted his package stimulated.....

*** Somebody should SO go to the State House and BLARE out the song from EVITA, DONT CRY FOR ME ARGENTINA. haha!

i whacked off pretty much ALL of our wee-one's hair yesterday. the wife dislikes it. i triple love it. teehee. okay i don't have much to say, really, so i'm just going to go work on my weiner. :-)

Tuesday, June 23, 2009


OMG!! My eyes are BLINDED by this ... beauty. I think you should adjust your vision by gazing upon this finest... contraption since the Sham Wow.

gaze, people, gaze...

p.s.- personally, i use my dog, Sophia. she was free and I didn't have to pay $55 plus s&h.

LoL, OMG!!

wooden weiner progress.

snarky lil sprites.

throughout my life many people have come and gone, influencing my soul in insurmountable ways. i shall call them sprites, because they fly in and out my life, make it all magical, cause mischief, and all that fun and mean stuff that sprites are known for. these various sprites have flown in throughout my life, creating a hard tale to read. but it is a tale full of color, wonder, and pain all of which are not make believe.
fairy Pictures, Images and Photos make believe Pictures, Images and Photos fairies Pictures, Images and Photos
some of these sprites have different colored glows; some bright and sparkly whilst others are dark and dreary. but i have found that with my age, i find more treasures along the path in this magical forest i call my life. the treasure i have most recently found is that of understanding. true understanding. with this gift from these sprites, i am also finding another gift; a void. a space painted full of anger that is quickly dissipating. a void has never been so beautiful.
fairy Pictures, Images and Photos sand castle and treasure box icon Pictures, Images and Photos fairy Pictures, Images and Photos
when i lie down "on a pillow of bluebonnets, in a blanket made of stars," i dream dreams that i am an artist. it may be merely a fanciful dream, but its a silly one i dare to court. so when i see any voids, it is my urge to fill it with something. but this, this patch of nothingness,... is beautiful. it is a beautiful work of art i dare not try to tweak, as it is perfectly imperfect.
dream Pictures, Images and Photos perfectly imperfect Pictures, Images and Photos Dream Pictures, Images and Photos
there are times in my journey through the magic forest that i tend to get too cocky, i tend to forget previous life lessons that i've learned. the universe calls upon the fate deity, to remind me. to remind me of not repeating any mistakes. or to remind me of other things long gone by. that is when little sprites fly my way. they usually fly in front of my face like a nagging house fly i have to swat out of aggravation. but it is only for my own good. sometimes the gods and goddesses up there on mount Olympus must send down some help to protect the princess. :-)
fly Pictures, Images and Photos Persephone Pictures, Images and Photos princess Pictures, Images and Photos princess Pictures, Images and Photos
tonight they did just that; a dark sprite was sent my way. this particular sprite's own journey through his dark forest has been intertwined with mine for years at a time. our paths were dark together, but were brightened with the separation. it was a painful split but a necessary one. forgiveness was a treasure box i found with this sprite's name on it a couple of moons ago. just recently did i see that the star on orions belt was shrinking. i knew the winds would soon blow him my way once again. it was inevitable. distance is required, friendship unstable. i was reminded of the darkened scary sections of the forest. i sometimes forget that there were too many things in common; more than seeing double trouble but being bearers of cowards' disgrace. it was two secrets never spoken but the heavy load was shared. our paths came together and split apart many times throughout our teenage and young adult years. too much pain prevented any sunshine on either forest. i have fought and struggled to find my sunshine (my wife) in my forest. i went about it in a not so graceful manner, but damnit i am here and i am a survivor, to quote my most fairest sprite of them all. my struggle was one helluva battle, but others are still fighting their war. his forest is sadly still war torn. i am reminded to be so grateful because my forest could have been so much darker, like his currently is. somewhere out there in the land of magical forests, princesses, sprites, and some unseen all being power that watches out for everyone... somewhere out there, some sprite or all knowing being has watched over my magical forest by guiding my path away from the darkest corners of hell. i don't know what i ever did in my past life, or in this one, to deserve such a guardian. one thing i am is grateful, eternally grateful. thank you to whoever or whatever is out there, for keeping this princess safe in her own little magical kingdom.
endless battle Pictures, Images and Photos growing up cullen Pictures, Images and Photos thank you! Pictures, Images and Photos
Growing up. Pictures, Images and Photos

Monday, June 22, 2009


newest project: wood workin weiner!! its obviously still a work in progress but i will post pictures until i declare it finished. i'll be making a reflective one as well. maybe they can be window decorations? any ideas on what i can post them on Etsy as? home decor? window decor? turrlet decor? its definitely weiner decor.

GISM #8 of 365:
i am grateful for creative ideas.
be creative Pictures, Images and Photos creative.gif Pictures, Images and Photos be creative Pictures, Images and Photos Creative Juices Pictures, Images and Photos Creative_Pin Pictures, Images and Photos

doggeh swag.

spiffy doggeh swag contest!! go check it out!!

(**picture taken from that Etsy store. It is NOT my picture. But it is my favorite collar available in this store!! also check out past items...i totally love the monkey one too**)

Sunday, June 21, 2009


aforementioned headache has for the most part, dissipated, thank my stars!! okay, let me fill you in on this quite eventful weekend. first of all, the yard sale was so-so. barely that, even. not worth the 4 am wake up call that the wife and i endured early saturday. our arrival in darlington prompted many oooooooh's and aaaaaaah's over our dear wee-one, sophia. i AM a proud mommy and YES i know my darling daughter furbaby IS THE cutest thing to hit Earth since finger monkeys. however, dear scary butch redneck with the hideous tattoo on your ankle, she is NOT for sale. and no disrespect, but nor is she for sale to your...colorful... mother either. but i digress, we made approximately twenty bucks. yeah. so it was a bust, but the rest of the day made it all worthwhile.
cute Pictures, Images and Photos cute Pictures, Images and Photos Cute Pictures, Images and Photos
a baby dyke was a new face in our normal crowd, and she was just adorable. very self assured at 15 years old. it was quite refreshing. after a cookout we headed to my best friend's family pool. her other best friend was there as well. i know she enjoyed that. after the pool, we were originally off to a new restaurant in Florence, Hibachi Grill. upon walking into the door, a panic attack set in for me. a strong, sudden, and fierce one. more fierce than borat's lil gay persona. it was a damn cattle trough; herds of people moving in and out. it was TOO MUCH for me. too many people staring at me,... no ma'am, not for me. the wife and i meandered over to two great greek owned restaurants in town for take-out, and both were closed. i wondered what kind of fuckery that was. we finally got our supper and returned to my mama's to consume it.
just keep swimming Pictures, Images and Photos Cows Pictures, Images and Photos
Last Supper Pictures, Images and Photos
....later that evening, we headed to my grandma's for a quick visit. it was here that i attained a copy of our family legend; the infamous DVD that is the finest form of blackmail God EVER created. one of my aunts pays some kind of quasi, half stoned, a bit psycho homage to Prince. also in the video was our grand daddy, who has been deceased for twenty plus years. i stole the scene in every shot i was in, naturally. because a toddler with a passy, adorable ringlets, and little arms giving her impression of Mr. T is the.cutest.thing.EVER. (and my family knows it too. lol!!) my brothers, the wife and i had a good time watching the often dizzying home video.
baby Pictures, Images and Photos crazy Pictures, Images and Photos
after the video, i busted my sister at a party. i listened to my gut and i was right. i went to see for myself at damn almost 11 pm. i caught the dumbass red handed worse than ken star discovering the lewinsky dress to bust Clinton. yeah. i rushed home, woke my mama up, and tattled like it was nobody's business. i just could NOT sit at my mama's KNOWING she was at a party where anything and everything could have happened to a 17 year old, socially retarded, hormone driven, selfish teenager. i do so love my only real sister that i have, which is why i may be labeled a snitch, but i'm a RESPONSIBLE snitch, damnit. i'd never have forgiven myself if something bad had happened to her and i'd done nothing to protect her.
teen Pictures, Images and Photos teen angst. Pictures, Images and Photos Teenage Stupidity. Pictures, Images and Photos
god forbid had she driven drunk and wrecked. that's the most irresponsible down right stupid and selfish thing anybody can do. speaking of which,... happy father's day to all the dads out there. i was/am lucky to have a great dad. he has loved me, protected me, and raised me the way any dad is supposed to. he never gave up on me, and for that, i am eternally grateful. thanks, steve.
As If, Dad Pictures, Images and Photos mum dad Pictures, Images and Photos

GISM #7 of 365:
i am grateful for karma.
karma Pictures, Images and Photos