Sunday, December 21, 2008

this and that.

okay, call me Mizziz Grinch. i am cranky and sick. (for the second Crimmus in a row, might i add.) my body has been infested by the alien force also known as snot. blechk.
SNOT Pictures, Images and Photos
i've been bitchy all week. *contain thy shock.* really unsure why. maybe its the cold. i don't know.
bitchy Pictures, Images and Photos
i am here looking at baby blog and jamming to my favorite queen of country and princess of pop. they soothe me. their music my soul's way to breathe deeply.
music addiction Pictures, Images and Photos
honey put our tree up this year. i bugged and bugged her about it, then she hauls the gear out of the shed, and guess what? i had a flair up of this politely superb sinus infection that's been crawling up mah bum. super fan-fucking-tastic. i told her because i did it all myself last year, that this was her turn. lol. but seriously, i feel pretty badly about not being able to help. i did, however, wrap all of our gifts. honey's mom, honey's dad, and my grandma excluded.

tonight i perused some lesbian baby blogs. there's this one couple who are three days overdue. i've been reading their blog ever since they artificially inseminated. so i've followed them throughout the course of their pregnancy. its like being a semi-stalker without breaking any laws. it can be addictive. i've been folowing this couple, and they have no clue. internet voyeurism rocks.
i've gotta quit with these baby blogs because it is so not helping to quiet that perpetual clock. i can see why it was Hook's Achilles heel. tick tick tick tick fucking tick tick.

our lil sophia is finding her niche wonderfully. she's my shadow, my own mommy's little princess. i bought her an absolutely delightful punk rock dress with a purple rhinestone collar to match. i do admit,... the orange mohawk is a bit out of place, but soon as i can find some purple or pink temporary hair junk, its on like donkey kong!!
I want a dog Pictures, Images and Photos

Thursday, December 18, 2008


its been quite a while since i've last blogged.
i'm sorry, my fellow bloggers and readers.
life, sometimes it happens, ya know?
where to begin...
well i'll just make this entry like a bulletin because there is so much to talk about.

*cheryl and i went through a really hard time. i finally stood up for what i felt needed to be defended. it was very hard to do. but i had stewed on the subject matter long enough, i'd taken into account all of the circumstances, and felt compelled to resolve the issue once and for all. the truth is, it hurt down to my core. my newfound sense of no fear supplied my courage to carry through. i don't know what will become of us. i relinquished control to the fates that be. not that i don't love her, because gosh almighty, i do. i just am tired of worrying. so to relieve that anxiety, i said "oh well. what will be, will be."

*i went to the crash site. this december 26th will be the one year anniversary. i rid my life of the parasites that are his family. (the one cousin excluded.) i am no longer hung up on what jack thinks of me. oh well with that situation, too. again, its not that i don't care, because i do. i'm just over the worrying aspect of it all. anyways. i finally conquered going to see it for myself. and wow. talk about an unnerving experience. i saw it. i felt it. i smelled it. i touched it. the plethora of emotions that ransacked my psyche were broad; relief, anger, sadness, etc. after damn near passing out, i left. i'm glad i conquered it. i needed to. i took a momento from the tree; some wood to keep it fresh for me. i never want to forget or forgive the pain he inflicted, and that will do just that for me.

*not too long ago, i wished for a turtle. ten miles later, there she was in the middle of the road like a present from above. i wished for a kitty kitty. not long after, a spade female who's great with dogs, asks to go out, and who isn't clingy, shows up one night at my back door. well. i wished for a teacup dog like radar, and like pnut. well. fate handed me a chorkie. all four and a half pounds. i got exactly what i asked for. she's perfect for me. hell, she IS me in a dog. i swear, yall. its kinda scary, actually. i named her sophia, as in sophia patrillo. i'd said when estelle getty died that my next dog would be named sophia in her honor. she kind of looks like sophia, the character, too. she has a small grayish head, she's old, can be cranky, cute as a bedbug, and funny. seriously!!

*my friends have been absolutely wonderful to me during this timultuous time here lately. huddle house visits and baby googling have eased my heartache. -side note... at the huddle house, i ran into my step-mother's father. it was very awkward because he still associates with my father's mother and i don't. kinda odd. yea. but he was as nice as he's ever been to me, though.-

*cheryl's car battery died on her way to work one night. then later that week, my tire went flat. and great stars!! what fuckery that was!! and NOW, the brakes on her car are messed up, so that goes into the shop in the morning. she drove my truck to work tonight. grrrr... i get a bit testy when my truck is not by my side.

*my anxiety has elevated to an uncomfortable point. i am unsure if it is due to the recent ongoings or the impending holidays or the anniversary. i may just bide my time and see if it subsides after the holidays have safely passed. if it doesn't then i will have to speak with my doctor about that.

*the house progress is SLOWLY coming along. cheryl's dad quoted about 5 to 6 weeks weeks until we move, but i just don't see that. i'm thinking feb. or march.

well dear ones, that's about it for me. i'll bid you ado, and say goodnight. peace out

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


changes. their uncomfortable. especially when you are raw emotionally. and right now, i am just that. never did i think that such seemingly stable things would be called into question. it hurts. quite badly, at that.
perhaps this is karma returning the favor of the pain which i have caused. i can only surmise that, because nothing else makes sense. what it feels like, is a slowly dripping bleeding cut. i see it in slow motion, but am powerless to stop it.
right now, it'd be so easy to believe in a god that may or may not exist. to blindly succumb to an almighty power to take over all of the responsibility. to pray would be so easy. but to whom? perhaps i'll sit outside tonight and wish on all of the stars until i run out or fall asleep.
i am not shutting down. but i am tired. not of us. just in general...tired. this year has almost been too much. too much has been stirred up and unsettled. ghosts of christmas past (VERY appropriate) have haunted me long enough. i just need to heal. that's all. i need time, without ANYTHING else becoming unsettled, to heal. to recharge my battery.
as hurt as i am and as tired as i am, my tenacity has yet to waiver, when it comes to straightening the destruction of 2008. many many many wonderful things have come my way, for which i am unboundingly grateful for...but the emotional hardships have taken its toll.
learning to live freely and not in fear has been challenging enough, knowing i can turn my lamp off at night is still unnerving, and not shitting a gold brick at every fancy vehicle that passes me in Florence is still HARD. knowing that i am hurting hurts her, hurts me even more. (if that makes sense.) there is a middle way, as the buddhist say. it is now what i seek. a path to enlightenment,....because i damn sure need it.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

opossums, thanksgiving, and anxiety.

immediately following last night's blog post,
all three of our four legged critters accompanied me outside for a smoke.
when i first walked outside onto our back porch in the pitch black of the night,
i thought that our kitty-kitty was already outside because it appeared as if i'd almost stepped on her.
i thought this because i caught something out of the corner of my eye that dashed under my feet.
when kitty-kitty joined me on the porch,
i put two and two together.
i was thinking, "wtf?"
then i noticed that harley and jackson picked up on a scent and were on it like white on rice.
i ran inside for a flashlight,
seeing as to how the wifey hasn't had the time to play handyman (which i TOTALLY understand),
and low and behold.
what did i see under the chair?
a opossum.
all i could see was atrocious grey fur and white feet with LONG nails
that semi-resembled cat claws.
i didn't hear any hissing or anything.
i brought my babies back inside and shut the back door.
it eventually left.
but man,
that was really kinda cool.
i'm glad that our babies were okay, though.
i found out that opossum slobber is toxic to doggies.
alls well that ends well.
over the hedge possums Pictures, Images and Photos
tomorrow marks the preparatory time for thanksgiving.
i do so love thanksgiving,
as any family holiday gatherings are great for bonding.
i love that, therefore i love thanksgiving.
i'll be focusing on what i am thankful for.
maybe i'll make a top ten list.
what's funny though,
is i am not a fan of thanksgiving food.
its just kind of...stale to me.
now, give me some damn crimmus food, and i'm all about that shiznits!
Thanksgiving kitty Pictures, Images and Photos
i am worried a bit,
as i can feel my anxiety elevating.
truthfully, i don't know why.
the anniversary, perhaps.
i just keep thinking that i just have to make it through crimmus without going insane.
i know that i am not in control,
but its like maybe thats the root of my anxiety.
simultaneously, however,
i don't want the control.
who knows.
i'll talk to my therapist tomorrow about this.
i really am worried about this,
as i want to enjoy the holidays seasonal festivities with my friends and family.
Anxiety Pictures, Images and Photos

He who thanks but with the lips
Thanks but in part;
The full, the true Thanksgiving
Comes from the heart.
~J.A. Shedd
Angelina Jolie Pictures, Images and Photos
heart Pictures, Images and Photos
For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
lol Pictures, Images and Photos
In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.
~Albert Schweitzer

Soul Spirit Pictures, Images and Photos
toothbrush passion Pictures, Images and Photos
twilight icons Pictures, Images and Photos

Monday, November 24, 2008


so much to tell, let's see...
last friday finally rolled around and before you knew it,
we were scrambling to get in the car to head to charlotte, nc.
i made incredibly lame half-assed signs declaring,
it was too cute.
Cute Pictures, Images and Photos
after traffic headaches and hiccups,
we finally made our way to the time warner cable arena.
unless you've previously been there,
its a bitch to find.
mapquest be damned.
it ended up with me looking at mapquest's directions in my hand,
honey driving,
us asking random people on the street for directions,
AND my mama on the phone with me looking up directions on her computer in Florence.
*The Map Knows All* Pictures, Images and Photos
i tell you what though, it was WELL worth it.
melissa peterman (aka, Barbara-Jean) sucked BIGTIME.
and whoever the dumb fool it was about three to fours rows back of us
that was incessantly screaming,
"Barbara-Jean! Barbara-Jean! Barbara-Jean! Barbara-Jean! Barbara-Jean!"
i wanted to bitch slap a idiot.
idiot Pictures, Images and Photos
Jesus would slap you Pictures, Images and Photos
joey and his crew arrived to the concert literally moments before reba and kelly graced the stage.
i took a few shots of him with my cell,
just to show my BFF, liz, his proximity to us.
that was cool.
he had third row seats.
< contains envy. >
Envy [still] Pictures, Images and Photos
they opened up with "Sweet Dreams," like they did in january.
most of the set was the same,
although they did change it up a bit.
and, great stars, was it ever for the better!!
knew better Pictures, Images and Photos
kelly's swing song damn near was an orgasmic experience sent from Venus herself.
hot damn.
i KNOW i wasn't the only dyke in the house droolin like a rabid dog over that business!!
my honey's favorite bandmate, carmella,
was knocked up this time.
and my gosh, she WAS more beautiful than EVER.
i've never found her to be hot, like my honey does.
but i must confess, she wears pregnancy very well.
drool tvb Pictures, Images and Photos
Kelly! Pictures, Images and Photos
Kelly Clarkson Icon Pictures, Images and Photos
our seats were, i consider, amazing.
they were on the first tier off the ground directly to the right of the stage.
we were probably all of 25 feet from the queen of country and her princess of pop/rock.
let me tell you,...
ms kelly has put some weight on.
and great buddha!!
does it ever make her all the more appealing!!
she just keeps on getting hotter and hotter from my perspective!!
it seemed like the queen perhaps had a cold,
because when the lights went down,
you could see her blowing her nose.
it was kinda funny.
if thats what it indeed was,
you damn sure couldn't hear any difficulty as she sang.
like always with every concert,
her voice warmed up the further into the concert that it got.
i profusely thanked my honey for treating us to such an exquisite delicacy.
it meant a hell of a lot to me.
we got home around two a.m. that night,
only to awake a little after 9:30-9:45ish saturday morning.
my BFF, ashes, visited us for the day.
we procured her assistance in housework on the new abode.
she also acted as a critter courier,
delivering jackass to us from his kidnappers.
my mom said he did NOT want to get into the car with ashes.
but when ashes got out her truck when she arrived here,
lil jackson perked right up.
the little shit.
we were glad he was returned safely.
bff iconn. Pictures, Images and Photos
all of our pets are happy as they can be now.
pussy has clean water, so he's swimming as much as his hearts' content.
kitty-kitty is kneading everywhere, now that she sleeps indoors because its too cold out.
her personality is coming out now.
she's such a sweetheart.
...but i still think she's evil, reguardless what honey says.
jackson's happy to be reunited with harley farley and cheryl.
and harley couldn't give a shit less that jackson's back.
he just gives a damn about finding a warm lap and a blanket.
ah. splendid bliss.
cofffee bliss Pictures, Images and Photos


**a special thanks to joey for the pictures**

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

jokes on us.

last night, somewhere around 9ish, honey and i walked outside to let harley run around in the big yard so he could drain his lizard. it was freezing outside.
So Happy I could Pee Pictures, Images and Photos
colder than a penguin's balls in antartica.
cold icons Pictures, Images and Photos
looking back, i wish i could've farted just to see if you could see that air, because you could sure as hell see the air you breathed out your booger tunnels.
britneys nose Pictures, Images and Photos
anyways, back to what i was saying... so honey and i were standing there waiting on harley. i turn and face the road and look up at the sky. now see, i didn't have my glasses on so all the stars were blurry. but, i saw what looked like a HUGE shooting star. that bitch looked like a HUGE ball that was on FIRE.
fire Pictures, Images and Photos
it was brighter than Mr. T's gold chains at a BET convention. okay, seriously.
Mad Deep Pictures, Images and Photos
realizing i didn't have my eye balls on, it kind of freaked me out a little bit. i mean, i could plainly see how big it was, and its trail it left behind. shooting stars seem to be small, fast, and further away. but this- seemed much closer than somewhere out there on Zeus' dance floor, like other shooting stars. this moved too slow.
Slow Dancing in a Burning Room Pictures, Images and Photos
were you expecting another joke? its called anticipaaaaaaaaaaaation.

this thing, whatever it was up there, it really did freak me out. i mean, it was like it wasn't computing properly in my head. ya know? sounds crazy, but i swear. that thing was freaky. i am so going to wonder what that thing was for the rest of my life.

......that's what yo mama said last night!!
YO MAMA! Pictures, Images and Photos
i amuse myself. i really do. i suppose that can be a good thing when boredom strikes. but its also kind of... "mentally slow" too. aye. i'm tired and out of jokes now. *sigh* but whatever that thing was that we saw, it was seriously freaky. i'll close this with a fitting quote:
timon pumbaa simba Pictures, Images and Photos
Pumbaa: Hey, Timon, ever wonder what those sparkly dots are up there?
Timon: Pumbaa, I don't wonder; I know.
Pumbaa: Oh. What are they?
Timon: They're fireflies. Fireflies that, uh... got stuck up on that big bluish-black thing.
Pumbaa: Oh, gee. I always thought they were balls of gas burning billions of miles away.
Timon: Pumbaa, with you, everything's gas.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

smooth move, exlax.

apparently i have bruised my tail bone. yes, laugh all you want, fuckers. but this crap HURTS. i can stand and i can lie down. but sitting down is horrible. i cannot get comfortable. i haven't a clue how this transpired. when i told my grandma last night, i was looking for some sincere empathy/sympathy that grandma's are supposed to freely dispense to their grandchildren. the old bag let me down. and i quote, "well sarah, that's what you get when you wait until the last minute to run to the shitter."
left field toilet Pictures, Images and Photos
what. the. HELL. i suppose her theory is that my ass plopped down on the shitter too hard. its plausible. i'll give her that. my my stars! grandmothers are supposed to make it all better! aye... vengence shall rain upon her, yesth, yesth.
she normally does make it all better for me, like the time i fell through the floor at a halloween haunted house. yea, smooth, i know. Danny & Sabrina & I went to a haunted house in Florence out there towards the airport. well all was fine and dandy as we were being guided through it. we came to a stop because of something or another, i forget what.
i fell on the floor Pictures, Images and Photos
the next thing i know, is i'm IN the floor, like up to i think it was my waist. yea. just THAT quick too. i felt like a toddler in one of those baby walkers,, asking to be picked up. my lil arms were straight up in the air as i tried to yell for sabrina. i was short of breath because it scared me so. she had to lift me straight up out of the hole. we got out the house, with me limping and whimpering. finally under some light, i yanked my jeans down to look at my leg. it was shredded from my hip down to my calf. as i was sliding down into that damned hole, the wood floor literally shredded the first couple of layers of skin off of my leg.
little arms Pictures, Images and Photos
because of my heart condition, i knew i needed to have my wound cleaned immediately. we headed for mcleods, where my mom eventually met up with us. by this time i could barely walk, and had to sit in the friggin wheelchair sideways because it hurt my leg to sit any other way. after HOURS and HOURS of waiting, we headed to Carolinas. well they were being bitches there too, so we said screw it and headed home. Sabrina doctored me up with Mama Linda's supervision. i called my grandma the next day and she gave me the grandmotherly support i wanted. eh. old bag. victory shall be mine.
Victory shall be mine Pictures, Images and Photos