Sunday, June 1, 2008

welcome back.

i sat on the bed after our shower today, so she could fix my hair. i don't even recall what i was cutting up about, but what i do recall is... THE. BEST. FEELING. EVER. C wrapped her arms around me and told me in my ear, "Welcome back."
it feels good. i am off of my medication for depression. and damnit, i feel like i am finding me all over again. the slapstick, fart jokes, and degrading sexual humor that belongs in the mouths of sailours and soldiers.
i watched an episode of mah girls the other day where stan had his bipass surgery and did his recovery at the girls' house. he faked his relaspe and when busted and chastised by dorothy, she said something to him that hit home for me. "its time to grow up, stanley........happy birthday, peter pan." i feel myself growing up, somewhat. in ways that my wife won't understand. she still grates my ass about growing up, but says with with endearing aggravation. (i love you, pookie.) i cannot see myself as this vanilla, adult, plain jane southern wife. um, hello? can we say,....BORING. never EVER will that be me.
yes, i am working on this compromise thing and other little things as well. but i will always find humor where i shouldn't, i'll always have a two tracked mind so it seems its as if i'm not paying attention, and most likely, i'll always be forgetful, and semi tazmanian devil.
i have my faults. and buddha knows, between my self confidence, my daddy, and those people who hate me... i am WELL aware of my short comings. (yes, that was a purposefully crude comment.) my wife has her flaws too.
i think there comes a place in every marriage, to where no matter how much you love your partner, it becomes easy to spot all of their flaws. thats when the true test comes, i think. because its then when you can flee or stay. and if you stay, that the quotes says,....that you can love some imperfect person, perfectly.