Wednesday, April 15, 2009

dryer snafu.

it has been unanimously decided that the four kids from my mama are THE.BIGGEST.KLUTZES.IN.THE.WORLD. seriously, i have concluded its some sort of DNA chromosome that we all inherited. a genetic mutation of sorts. (as if i didn't have enough of those as is!) let me site two find examples to prove my theory.
Klutz Icon Pictures, Images and Photos klutz Pictures, Images and Photos
when all four of us siblings were little, we were forced to sit miserably at the table for supper. oh the injustices! but i digress, our mom would fix us all our plates of food and drinks, where we'd then begrudgingly eat most likely spaghetti. we would hem and haw over this dish, not because it was nasty, no. rather, because we ate that stuff AT LEAST two to three times per week. (which is the solid reason i put a cap on the number of times honey cooks spaghetti per year.) then after everybody was seated and pushing their food around on their perspective plates, mom would fix yet another glass of milk, bring a towel, bring an additional set of silverware, and depending on the level of chaos that day, another plate full of food. six people eating, but seven places set. why, might you ask? let's revisit that pesky chromosomal defect shall we? it was never a question of if, but when any child would: 1- drop their utensil 2- spill their milk or 3- (on a particularly evening of high volume lunacy) spill their milk into their plate and drop their utensil. it was a guarantee. sure as the turn of the tide. clockwork. seriously.
unhappy meal Pictures, Images and Photos penguins armed with sporks Pictures, Images and Photos
now let's fast forward a decade or so, to last night. "picture this," a brother and a sister, a dryer, an unlit cigarette, and a lent trap. earlier in the day, the a.d.d. afflicted sister sets out to go smoke on her back porch, but she gets sidetracked. no doubt, by something shiny. once she pulled herself away from the shimmering object, she forgets where she laid the intended cigarette she was going to smoke. chalking it up to years of previous one too many happy pills, she shrugs it off and grabs another, forgetting all about it. later that day this brother comes to his sister's aid with her atrocious, never ending mound of wretched laundry. said brother switches the wet clothes from the washer to the dryer while said sister removes the lint filter from the lint trap to clean it. it was at this precise moment when the clusterfuck occurred. though it happened in probably a matter of two seconds, it felt like it was on the slow motion setting. the brother stands up and turns toward sister to help her put the lint filter back in. with both people guiding the filter back into its abode, the lost cigarette appears from nowhere sitting beside the currently empty hole of the filter's home. the bottom corner of the filter catches the cigarette and down it fell into the rabbit hole into the land of the mythical sock monster. which i believe to highly resemble oz.
oz Pictures, Images and Photos Photobucket
an hour and a half to two hours later, the said brother saves the day and gallops into the setting sun. he retrieved the cigarette. several retrieval methods were utilized: the arm down the rabbit hole, a straightened coat hanger with tape around it backwards as to theoretically stick to the cigarette and pull it to safety, an extension cord with tape around the male part to serve the same purpose as the coat hanger, turning the stupid thing on to see if it'd blow it out, and finally, sticking brother's arm up the exhaust end of the dryer that is on the outside of the house.
hero Pictures, Images and Photos look shes in the dryer Pictures, Images and Photos
yeaaaaaa. who the hell else would this happen to?! seriously!! enjoy the pictures from our merry little experience.