Thursday, March 26, 2009

he has verbal diarrhea and mental constipation.

today, my clown of a son, my youngest furbaby, decided that the bumble bee flying just above his head would be a delightful toy to jump at and try to chomp on. yes, such a bright child, he is. although his grandmother would defend his intelligence til the day she dies, i do think that as handsome as my son is indeed,...i must say, his slinky is so kinked it won’t slink.
Photobucket Slinky Dog Pictures, Images and Photos
Photobucket Photobucket

to save my child from having a truly shittastic day, i had to bonk him in his head. you see, he was at our back porch steps lunging at this antiquated winged monster. as he began barking and lunging, he infuriated the aeronautical beast which then started to dart back and forth profusely around my child. the creature shot straight up into the air with its butt pointed downwards (very reminescent of the butt shaking cockroach) and began to make its downward dive with my son's head baring the bullseye.
Bee Suit Pictures, Images and Photos bee Pictures, Images and Photos LET IT BEE Pictures, Images and Photos it\'s a bee Pictures, Images and Photos
in a truely maternal fashion, i timed it just right to swing open the screen door and bang my child in his head and thus knocking the flying killer out of its intended path. hopefully i knocked sense into my boy, because he chose that moment to spring up the back porch steps and bolt inside to the safety of his mother. i hope i didn't cause any further drain bamage. there's nothing like a mother's love, i tell ya.

Mom Pictures, Images and Photos mom Pictures, Images and Photos
and alas, apparently even though i can be a bad ass super mom and save my son from a bee on the kill, i am also a bad mom. i'd like to think that maybe i am a mom with a bad memory, with a touch of that funny southern senility... because those would explain why i forgot the aforementioned son's birthday this month. our little charmer mcstudmuffin turned three years old. it seems like just yesterday he was dropped on his head. as a pup, he was oddly portioned. his head didn't match his body, nor did his feet. but he was a cute fat little pork belly. and he still is an utterly adorable, pork belly, comedian, mama and grandmama's baby boy.