Tuesday, May 27, 2008

purging of malignant beings.

my paternal grandmother.
now, that is a subject i tend to want to avoid.
that is,... *ponders very hard*
she is not a lady,
amongst other things.
let me enlighten you on her latest...antics.
okay so a while back when i had to deal with this whole social security thing, she remained true to form by hanging up on me with the most absolutely absurd reason that her warped mind could manifest. seriously. and the ironic thing to that situation was, was the fact that i was actually being thoughtful and sincere when she flipped her lid on me. damned if i do, and damned if i don't. so whatever.
okay, so anyways. that was like at the end of february or march sometime. haven't heard from that tomb of vile ever since. during my last visit home, i made a stop at a particular business establishment to socialize with my step mom's dad. nothing came of the visit. i told him that i hadn't heard from her, that i reckoned she was still mad at me, and that i would not tolerate that disrespect in my relationship with her. (further explaining myself, i stated that she was now carrying over the TYPE of relationship that she had with daddy over to her current relationship with me.) and let me tell you,... the son of a bitch is gone. dead.
in the words of patch adams, "Death. To die. To expire. To pass on. To perish. To peg out. To push up daisies. To push up posies. To become extinct. Curtains, deceased, Demised, departed And defunct. Dead as a doornail. Dead as a herring. Dead as a mutton. Dead as nits. The last breath. Paying a debt to nature. The big sleep. God's way of saying, 'Slow down.'" ..."To check out...To shuffle off this mortal coil... To head for the happy hunting ground... To blink for an exceptionally long period of time... To find oneself without breath... To be the incredible decaying man... Worm buffet... Kick the bucket. ..Buy the farm... Take the cab... Cash in your chips."
okay, whoah. i got side tracked with that, didn't i? yea. yet another tendency of mine. anyways, okay so i told B that i wasn't going to tolerate her behavior anymore. okay, so after i return to our humble abode here in the ghetto/country fabulousness that is the oburg, my psycho aunt calls to enlighten me upon the fact that mrs. vile, herself, called my good grandma and was bein all nosy.
now see. here's the thing. i've given the old hag my number. i gave B my number. i gave my uncle my number. i even gave my over bearing anorexic aunt my number. i purposefully made sure that i gave my number to her "inner circle" of closed minded heathens. then, i asked her to NOT CALL MY GOOD GRANDMA LOOKING FOR ME. she is doing this on fucking purpose.
ya know. i know that people like her are pathetic. they hang on to this hate, this vile, this... darkness and they fester on it until their souls turn black. i know people like this, like her. daddy was one of them. forgiveness is an alien concept to them. the only thing they can understand about forgiveness is that it is yet another means of manipulation for them to use to attack their victims again and again. these people are just black. and i aint bein racist here either. to be in their vicinity hurts you. and when they sink their vicious nails into you, there's nothing like it. they THRIVE off of making others miserable. they are chameleons who manipulate everything in site. this is my grandmother. and believe me when i say, i am not proud to boast that little fact.
she didn't stop at ignoring my request, no, she sent out her mentally ill (and i mean that in no joking manner, he is sweet as can be, but easily manipulated by her demands) son to try to hunt me down. he has called me repeatedly. i wish i could get his number blocked from my cell phone. you see, he doesn't know better. he cannot understand; he is incapable. that is part of his disease. i cannot just flat out say, "hey uncle L, i don't want to be part of this family anymore. don't call me ever again. goodbye." that isn't fair to him. he didn't do anything to me. and the old bag knows this. she knows where my compassion lays. i cannot do that to him. what kind of "mother" (and i use the term loosely) would KNOWINGLY do that to their child? well, then again, i am speaking of a woman *scratch that* homo sapien who tried to serve her ex husband divorce papers WHILE HE WAS IN WAR OVERSEAS, who thinks its 'cute' that her then child son tried TO KILL HER DAUGHTER, who thought my parents should STILL BE MARRIED. (yes i know, try to swallow that.)
she hates herself. that is supremely obvious to me. she is filled to the BRIM with hatred. i KNOW she hates me too. i mean, i know she does. perhaps not to the extent that daddy hated me, but nonetheless. maybe she does in fact hate me more now, because i refused to coddle her during the aftermath of the deaths. i told her the truths she didn't want to hear. maybe she hates me more because i told her he deserved what he got and that i hope he knew the suffering he caused to others. maybe so. in my heart i know it. i don't hate her. i don't hate anyone (suprisingly). i just don't like her. i don't love her either. i don't have to.
so here i am with this annoying conundrum. how do i handle this situation? you see, uncle L won't stop calling until he gets me. so, i am contemplating my move, or even my inaction. maybe i could write her a letter? boy, that'd be a helluvaletter, now wouldn't it?
maybe she will get the point at the end of the summer when i make my departure from thefamily official? ugh. any suggestions, fellow bloggers?