Monday, September 15, 2008

BnB, she says.

this past week has been an unusually rough one. call it an earthquake week, if you will. a big ol' nasty rumble came from underneath, causing me to lose my balance. it felt as if the floor was caving in right out from under my feetsies. with an unexpected aftershock, the reconstruction and healing begin again.
i have found that when your faith is tested, its too unstable for me to adequately function. i have had too much of that unstableness in my past, and i damn sure do not want to relive that horrid feeling.

faith can be your savior, it truly can be. no, i'm not going all holy roller. faith can be in anything; from a Goddess, to Buddha, to God, the devil, in yourself, or, my own faith- love in what i know to be true. there are people out there who thrive on trying their mightiest to shake your faith, there are those who are so self centered that they don't realize they're shaking your faith, and then there is your own damn self who can shake your faith by self destruction. i have encountered all three. none of which, are nice.

i'll not repeat a major past mistake of mine, by focusing on the past and getting stuck in the perverbial quicksand of shit. no. not again. adults don't do that. (and by the way, when the FUCK did i turn 26?! and even moreso, how the FUCK can i undo that and return to, like, 5?)

shake it off. accept it. store the newly learned knowledge away. breathe deep. and move on.