life as i know it.

hello, my pretties. this past week has been a fun one. one of my BFFs, "Laverne", and my baby brother, "Wily Cyote," came up for a 3 day, 2 night visit. it was quite nice. we hung out at the pool two days in a row, as you'll see from the following pictures. Wily Cyote had an Evel Knievel moment; he dared to go down the slide on TOP of various floatation devices. yeah. the wife's warning to him was that the hospital was just right down the road. trust me, this is not a threat to my brothers, as they are pro's at ER visits due to their carelessness and/or reckless stupidity. every time Wylie Cyote would attempt to slide down the slide in true Evel Knievel form, i felt a lump rise in my throat and my butt cheeks clench. i suppose the outcome could have been worse, after all, he is an ADD 13 year old preteen who is fearless as hell. the only token of remembrance he received for his dare devil trick was a jammed toe. not too bad, indeed.
the four of us played poker the first night and had a blast. the wife was the first one out, followed by me, then a magnificent show down between Wylie and Laverne ensued. Laverne proved to be the night's victorious winner. my middle child, my wiener fur baby, jackson, had to be right up in the midst of what was going on during our game. he was so cute in Wylie's lap. ever the nosy one, he is never satisfied unless he is literally IN.THE.MIDDLE. of what you're doing. nosy weiner.
and speaking of animals,... i'm putting the finishing touches on my wooden wiener and will unveil it upon its completion. next animal up is a yellow bellied turtle that the wife and i rescued from Fat Man's yard. we re homed it to an excellent water source a few miles away. it had crawled across the highway somehow and had the burns on its underside to prove it. there was even a smidgen of blood. it gave me the sads. but it should be happy in its new home, hopefully. when the wife picked it up off of our tailgate to look at it closer, the damn thing wee'd!! i didn't know turtles had bladders that could hold that amount of pee! seriously. my lil girl, Sophia, in all of her four-ish pounds of her, cannot pee that much!! and the final animal in this bloggy blog entry is a cute wittle bunny. yesterday evening after everyone left, i let the dogs out in the back yard to do their thing. that was when i spotted a bunny literally right AT the fence. i tried my best to get a picture with my phone. its a sucky picture, but it'll have to do, even though you can't really see it. i was quite taken back by house it sat there chomping on grass with the dogs and me so close in its proximity. it was so freakin cool. i love our backyard.


i will be away from this here comfy corner of my interwebs for a good lil while. it looks like i'll be spending roughly a week and a half to two weeks back home in Florence. i have family obligations i must tend to. i don't mind doing them, because i'd do anything in the world for my family. but i must confess; two consecutive weeks at home with... that sordid crew is not something i am looking forward to. i love, love, love going back home. but i LOVE, LOVE, LOVE returning to my QUIET, TRANQUIL, SANE home i share with the wife. it will all be okay. either way, it'll be one hell of an adventure. it could be fun or it could all be one giagantic headache. either way, i guarantee some hilarious stories upon my return to sane civilization.

blah.

hello, my darling adorable interwebbers. fear not; i've not cast you astray. we've had company this week. they left today but i feel like i've been beaten up. seriously. i feel yucky. no two way s about it. not to worry, i have much to post and will do so first chance i get when i feel better.

fyi: when a prescription says to eat food with it, do so, ok? yeah.

fuckery, weiners, and everyday love.

have all of the planets fallen out of alignment or something? seriously, because something fucking weird is going down. billy mays died. you know, the REALLY ANNOYING oxiclean guy. what kind of fuckery is that?! when i wrote in a previous post before MJ died, i pondered who would be the third celebrity to follow ed and farrah. be damn if no sooner than i sent that blog post out into the rabbit hole of the interwebs did the king of pop die. i'm hesitant to question who'll be suceeding the oxiclean guy. (on a twisted note, who'll scream at us on the infomercials now? billy died and vince the sham wow guy is supposedly in the pen. whatever shall the ignorant masses follow now?!)

i've almost finished sanding down my wiener. i still have a bit more to smooth out on it but as you can see, it is shaping up quite nicely, i think. i'm going to be staining it and putting some more finishing touches on it. then i'll begin on its mirror counterpart to complete the pair. then i guess we'll see if i decide to put it on etsy.








today prevailed to be quite interesting, as opposed to what i thought would be yet another routine, boring day. i managed to: tackle the wife, get the majority of the laundry washed and dried, and smoked out the house (though not the illegal way). yeah. interrrrrrrresting. on a everyday-run of the mill boring house wife note on stuff i did today,... i replanted some bulbs and talked recipes with my mama. yes, life is good.

sweet summertime.

sacreligious phenomenon and art.

i find myself being drawn into this hyped up Michael Jackson mania,...somewhat. let me explain. i'm sort of not really getting into putting him on this seemingly saint-like immortal pedestal that the rest of the damn civilization has bestowed upon him. its literally like a pill was given to the masses upon his death that somehow melts all intelligence brain cells within everyone's heads. is everybody forgetting about the Jesus Juice and allegations of child abuse? why is the world shocked that his demise was drug related? we watched his train wreck happen. i mean, we are currently watching the lindsey lohan train wreck, aren't we? we thought we were watching the britney spears trainwreck, but her family intervened. (albeit most likely for financial purposes, we lest we can hope the intervention is working so she does not meet the same fate as elvis, marilyn monroe, anna nicole smith, and now michael jackson.) we as a society, have a morbidly twisted, sick fascination with train wrecks. we can't peal our eyes away from it, think its a crying shame, but feed the machine too. a culture of hypocrits.

and speaking of hypocrits, let me make mention of our evidently Biblical govenor, Mark Sanford.
if i were a real christian, i'd be pissed at his self referencing false prophecy. seriously, comparing your fuck up to King David? i know he's trying to appeal to his holy roller voters by begging for their forgiveness. the whole damn thing is ludacris to begin with.

i'm still working on the wooden weiner and having immense fun doing so. i'm having more fun than i thought i would. my wife has cleared out a spot in my art room and i couldn't be happier than a pig in shit. yay!!

wooden weiner progress...part tres.

stimuli.

i am an avid believer that things come in threes, especially deaths. we have ed mcmahon and farrah fawcett up first. who'll take the third slot? nobody i know personally, i hope. and by the damn way, what is this fuckery with our oh-so-righteously pious govenor of SC, mark sanford? there is a reason behind his publicly admitting his affair and i'm suspicious as to what it is. politicians have affairs. point blank. that's just the way it is. personally the only possible lucrative enticement to boinking ANY politician for is financial gain. and i'm sorry, but i am so not about to eat mexican with elizabeth dole and suck lollipops with lindsey graham. ain't happenin, captain.

some funny quips i've heard pertaining to the sanford scandal:

*** ....he did not want a stimulus package...he wanted his package stimulated.....

*** Somebody should SO go to the State House and BLARE out the song from EVITA, DONT CRY FOR ME ARGENTINA. haha!

i whacked off pretty much ALL of our wee-one's hair yesterday. the wife dislikes it. i triple love it. teehee. okay i don't have much to say, really, so i'm just going to go work on my weiner. :-)