violet skies.

cheryl & i went to atlanta this weekend to see a very sordid affair. it got canceled due to snow but we met everybody at an elite hotel bar. everybody was so down to earth, it was unreal. i got the inside scoops on certain hollywood elites that were fascinating. leave it to me to have a clutz moment. i wore three inch fuck me pumps in a snow and ice covered atlanta and didnt slip. i get to cheryl's house and slip barefooted on a sock and landed on my knee. only me, i tell ya.


i got my truck back, for which i'm grateful and relieved. now i won't be trapped at home any longer. this coming tuesday i may have a possible run-in with my dad and step mom's daughter. we were both invited to a poetry night at a local coffee house. i'm a confirmed guest, she a maybe guest. i don't want any shit. no fake conversation, no nothing. i wanna enjoy my night with my friends and my cousin.

this week is vintage picture week on facebook. i'll leave yall with my vintage picture. its the first time i met reba.

labor day vacation.

my adorable bloggers, i've not forgotten you; i've been on vacation with the crazy crew that is my family. overall the trip went great. i do have some remaining sanity left in tact. that totally surprised me, by the way. the majority of my family retreated down to cherry grove beach to a house that belongs to a family member of a family friend. there were quite a few hairy moments during the trip, but overall, it was great.
one favorite moment was a dry ice bomb. that was pretty awesome. then another favorite moment was when we caught some crabs in the crab trap, them bitches was fuckin!! seriously!! attached and everything!! we began packing up the vehicles yesterday when one baby brother got over zealous in his efforts to haul items to various vehicles and tripped on the stairs. long story short, we think he broke his elbow into two places. he went to get a permenant cast today but the swelling was too great for them to properly do so. he has to wait two weeks for new xrays to determine the course of treatment.
naturally i got home to mom's and was a-okay. i woke up this morning sick as a damn dog. idk, so don't ask. i'm going to the doc-in-the-box in the morning. but i was fine the entire trip to the beach, then BAM!! ugh. atleast its not a possible broken elbow like my lil brother. included are beach pics. enjoy!!

the ENTIRE time, sophia (wee-one) pulled her manipulative i'm-so-feeble-hold-me-bullshit. as you can see, one aunt fell for her antics.







the epitome of a vacation, right here, yall. suck it, betches!!








the crabs were attached and gettin jiggy wid it!!









na-na-na-na-na-na, get jiggy wid it....






a humongus hole the twins and their friend dug on the beach; they're pretty proud of it.










front of the house.







the first crab we caught.






the dry ice bomb. heh.











the canal we were on.







"...the bitch is back,...." ~elton john. (my aunt.)








who's jumpin in the canal first?








that shit was chill-ayyyyyyyyyyy

“Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.”

i apologize for not really writing any lately; i've come down with a temporary case of the blues. recently i had to change my anxiety medication from effexor to lexapro so i imagine that probably has something to do with it. my body is adjusting to the change. and bless my stars!! i hate it, more than anything. i must be patient though and ride it out, as with everything, it will balance itself out, so says the miniature, wise little Buddha/Yoda creature in mah head...





school has been going well thus far. no complaints as of yet, other than there is NO.WORLDLY. REASON.FOR.A. THREE.HOUR.LAB. ...NONE. WHATSOFUCKINGEVER. as a matter of fact, i'm going to ask my friend who works at my school, to find out who's ingenious idea it was to have labs that length of time, so i can politely go and knock on their door and go all chuck norris/jujitsu on their tacos (or balls, whichever the case may be). five minutes feels like five hours. i swear to bob. its a good thing the teacher's accent is kinda hot, otherwise i'd have NOTHING to do in there. (she's a NC farmer's daughter. 'nough said.)




i have a family vacation coming up soon for the holiday. it...should be interesting, to say the least of it. my semi-psychotic, hippie, nonsensical, semi-tatty, sordid, pothead aunts and uncles and cousins, and then my oh-so-well-behaved-thirteen-year-old-brothers-with-add-who-know-EVERY-FUCKING-THING-in-the whole-god-damn-world. let's not forget my darling, adorable, mommy's little princess (Sophia), then the other two spawns of satan that belong to my family (their dogs). be it that we don't all commit homicide by the end of the trip, it should prove to be a very eventful weekend. hopefully i will also get to see some friends of mine who'll be down that way anyways

















i had this dream last night that i was shopping for rings in a funky store, that i got lost in the clothes racks because the clothes were all too fluffy or some shit. think like 80's madonna tutu-style clothing. yeah. then, i walked out the store without paying for two rings that i had on my finger. so in a sense, i reckon i was a damn shoplifter. nice. then, some fool started shootin up the place inside a place that very much resembled morrison's cafeteria. do yall remember that place? it was a staple in our mall for like most of the 90's, i think. it was pretty yucky food, but it filled you up and shut you up without emptying your mama's wallet. it was kind of like a low rent version of a ryan's steakhouse. mmmmm... i used to be so in love with their macoroni and cheese. that was SLAMMING!! so cheesy, but not too much, and creamy as all get out. yummy!! wait, what was i talking about? oh right; the dream. any ideas? wonder what that all means? by the way- i didn't get shot in it. any input would be awesome.

hum drum...

we are slowly getting stoked about our impending vacation. we're crossing our fingers, our legs, toes and even our ass hairs hoping nothing halts our plans like last year. i'm truly excited to breathe that florida air, to see the lush greenery, the beautiful beaches, and the awesome summer storms. with the additions of the BFF, Laverne and our tiny princess, Sophia, its sure to be a fantastical blast!! not really a whole lot to report on the home front, so i'll leave you with two pictures. enjoy!!

healing nicely.

last night's panic attack was not cool. i absolutely loathe the fact that it happened. i've been doing so well lately, so i'm not understanding why it happened. well, i mean, i know what scared the bejesus out of me. but unsure why it manifested itself in that manner and to that extent. not cool. not cool, mi amigo.

15 days to go until our vacation to florida. we've decided to take jackass, even though i wanna take harley. if you weigh out all of the pro's and con's, jackass wins out, hands down. we are truly looking forward to that. a chance to get away, relax, enjoy the summer, enjoy each other. it'll be our last true pack-your-bags and get-away vacation for the summer.

we received our first check to officially begin our home. and so it begins. the closing of one half of the book, and the beginning of another. this summer is exactly what i needed to heal. the divorce, my return to my artwork, my art class, my divorce, our vacation, and the commencement of building our future. it feels good. my soul is actually beginning to smile again.

the uncle called again last night and i let C answer the call. she said his demeanor changed immediately when he knew it wasn't me who answered. she told him i was laid up in bed whacked out on meds the doctor gave me for my back. (which IS half true. my back began to go out again, and i did get meds. but i am not laid out, nor whacked out.) i can't help but to wonder how long this drama will play out. i can pay at&t to block his number. but dang. thats just ONE MORE fee to pay. ya know? i can afford it, that's not the issue. but dang. ya know?

it feels good now that things are getting better. i am thankful for what i have. i absolutely MUST BE the luckiest girl in the world. my wife,... she was there for me last night in a way that nobody has ever been there for me. her compassion knows no boundries when it comes to healing me. if she hadn't have been there last night, i... i don't know what would've happened. thank you, my bella. thank you with all of my heart. i love you.