gardening and white trash.

i have been a mischievous Tasmanian devil of a house wife lately. let me explain: the wife slaved over cleaning the kitchen until it was sparkly and shiny. that night after she left for work, i tore it up. i did my indoor gardening on the kitchen counter. my excuse? i needed to be near the sink for the hot water. i am using one of those transplant pots that are biodegradable and are meant to be transferred into the ground once the sprouts are strong enough to endure the move. they came with this frisbee looking thing in the pots. add a specified amount of hot water and presto! a pot full of moist compost. it reminded me of those toys on the kiddie isle in the dollar store that look like pills but really aren't. you add the water and it morphs into some random creature, like a Brachiosaurus or a turtle or something. but alas, i am to clean up my mess in the kitchen today. i have a nagging headache and my hands are bothering me. i'll get to cleaning when i'm good and damn well ready. (i think i am also PMSing. gee, can ya tell?)


i am currently soaking olive tree seeds. i bought them for the wife because she loves, loves, loves olives. this is indoor tree seeds that i purchased. i may have bit off more than i can chew though. you have to keep the seeds at just the right temperature and keep the compost mix consistently moist but not water logged. i may need to plan up some ghetto indoor mini greenhouse to accomplish this for the wife. i want to grow an indoor lemon or some other citrus tree for her as well. she is crazy for her olives, lemons, pickles, and her wild plums. oh the things we do to try and make our loved ones happy.


i had to do another stepping stone for harley. when i removed them all from the plastic molds after they dried, all but one came out without a hitch. harley's cracked in half like britney spears on a psyche eval. so i redid his and am currently waiting to see if his redo is satisfactory to my standards. i have also been working on a new painting, inspired by my girls. i'm doing it as a thank you for one of my BFFs, whom i'll call the Laverne to my Shirley. and speaking of BFFs, my other one, whom i'll call the babysitter, is now officially on her way to being a step grandma. in HER words, "oh how the redneck drama flows." this is irony in its utmost classic form. outside looking in, its sad and pathetic,... and funny. the cycle never stops. i'll leave it at that. i'm gonna go lay down now because this blasted headache has yet to go away and its starting to really piss me off now. peace out, my fellow interwebber friends.

je suis béni.

yesterday was my grandma's 80th birthday and my sister's 17th birthday. it was bittersweet. we were supposed to have gone to eat at grandma's favorite restaurant, but once she realized that my aunt couldn't accompany us, she didn't want to go. i guess my aunt has become her safety blanket. talk about a defective blanket from the factory!! that blanket got caught up in the machine at the plant, spit out, rejected, and still got sent out to the public...the dye they used for coloring that fabric must have been made from the poppy fields because she's damn sure acting like she's been exposed to some pretty strong opiates. or, maybe the bitch is just plain psycho. either way, the dysfunctional (and delusional) 'security' my grandma gets from this blanket is evidently what she thinks she needs.



so my wonderful wife and i opted to bring her favorite dish from her favorite restaurant to her for supper. yea, yea, i know, i know... i ROCK as a grand daughter. no ego there, eh? on the way to grandma's house the wifey and i were chatting, and i quoted a true sophia saying to her about my grandma's 80th birthday. "once you hit 80, every birthday without a headstone is a milestone!!" yes, yes. i crack myself up. but alas, we had to leave her house suddenly because i became overheated rather quickly. when that happens, i get really sick really fast. i get all discombobulated. seriously. its no fun. at all.


the packing is still under way. aye karumba!! it doesn't look so hard, but it is all of the repetitive bending that is bothering me. my back feels okay as of right now. i took it easy today to give my back a rest. hopefully tomorrow i can go back to full force and get a lot more packed. i'm getting so super stoked about moving. i told my wifey that i couldn't wait to go and buy shower curtains and such. yay!! that sounds so matronly doesn't it? oh well, i'm a future milf anyways.


when honey was talking to my favorite old woman yesterday, she told her that i was utterly in love with my wee-one, sophia. it hadn't dawned on me until she said it, but i am!! i love my harley and absolutely adore my jackson, but i am in love with sophia. what my honey bunny said touched my heart. and speaking of my honey, our four year anniversary is approaching quite fast. hmmm... i gotta get those creative juices flowing so i can do something for her.