life as i know it.

hello, my pretties. this past week has been a fun one. one of my BFFs, "Laverne", and my baby brother, "Wily Cyote," came up for a 3 day, 2 night visit. it was quite nice. we hung out at the pool two days in a row, as you'll see from the following pictures. Wily Cyote had an Evel Knievel moment; he dared to go down the slide on TOP of various floatation devices. yeah. the wife's warning to him was that the hospital was just right down the road. trust me, this is not a threat to my brothers, as they are pro's at ER visits due to their carelessness and/or reckless stupidity. every time Wylie Cyote would attempt to slide down the slide in true Evel Knievel form, i felt a lump rise in my throat and my butt cheeks clench. i suppose the outcome could have been worse, after all, he is an ADD 13 year old preteen who is fearless as hell. the only token of remembrance he received for his dare devil trick was a jammed toe. not too bad, indeed.
the four of us played poker the first night and had a blast. the wife was the first one out, followed by me, then a magnificent show down between Wylie and Laverne ensued. Laverne proved to be the night's victorious winner. my middle child, my wiener fur baby, jackson, had to be right up in the midst of what was going on during our game. he was so cute in Wylie's lap. ever the nosy one, he is never satisfied unless he is literally IN.THE.MIDDLE. of what you're doing. nosy weiner.
and speaking of animals,... i'm putting the finishing touches on my wooden wiener and will unveil it upon its completion. next animal up is a yellow bellied turtle that the wife and i rescued from Fat Man's yard. we re homed it to an excellent water source a few miles away. it had crawled across the highway somehow and had the burns on its underside to prove it. there was even a smidgen of blood. it gave me the sads. but it should be happy in its new home, hopefully. when the wife picked it up off of our tailgate to look at it closer, the damn thing wee'd!! i didn't know turtles had bladders that could hold that amount of pee! seriously. my lil girl, Sophia, in all of her four-ish pounds of her, cannot pee that much!! and the final animal in this bloggy blog entry is a cute wittle bunny. yesterday evening after everyone left, i let the dogs out in the back yard to do their thing. that was when i spotted a bunny literally right AT the fence. i tried my best to get a picture with my phone. its a sucky picture, but it'll have to do, even though you can't really see it. i was quite taken back by house it sat there chomping on grass with the dogs and me so close in its proximity. it was so freakin cool. i love our backyard.


i will be away from this here comfy corner of my interwebs for a good lil while. it looks like i'll be spending roughly a week and a half to two weeks back home in Florence. i have family obligations i must tend to. i don't mind doing them, because i'd do anything in the world for my family. but i must confess; two consecutive weeks at home with... that sordid crew is not something i am looking forward to. i love, love, love going back home. but i LOVE, LOVE, LOVE returning to my QUIET, TRANQUIL, SANE home i share with the wife. it will all be okay. either way, it'll be one hell of an adventure. it could be fun or it could all be one giagantic headache. either way, i guarantee some hilarious stories upon my return to sane civilization.

pint sized hero.

okay so i joined this new social networking group (not because i am not already a members of too many others right?). this one is called Grace in small things. the concept of this group really fascinates me. so i am going to try my best to partake in the group's challenge: to daily "take notice of the positive things we tend to overlook. Grace in Small Things exists because we are choosing not to allow the noisiness of life to rob us of the time and energy to be mindful of ourselves and those we love and to recognize the grace that exists in small things." so i am going to do this to remind myself of one thing daily for an entire year, to win my own battle against embitterment. at the end of each blog entry, i will post my daily GISM item that i am grateful for.

my baby brother made me more proud of him than i have ever been throughout his entire life. yesterday morning before the school bell rung to start their day of learning, my brother whom i shall call *Deviant Rascal* (*nicknames have been given to protect the guilty*) got in a fight and got suspended. a bit of back story for you: his teen hormones have permanently taken up residence throughout his entire body. long gone are the days of my sweet little funny brother and here are the days of mr-know-it-all-fuck-you. these putrid hormones have brain washed my once innocent baby brother into what his nickname that i've given him says, a deviant rascal. his behavioral problems at school up until now have never been destructive to school property or other persons. (another words, Deviant Rascal has a big mouth, with a highly sarcastic persona that gets him into stupid trouble all of the time. The apple truly does not fall far from the tree.) his behavior has DRAMATICALLY improved since he found out he had once more to get suspended before being expelled.


but i digress, ...back to yesterday. his best friend, a boy in his grade whom i shall refer to as video-game-dweeb-numero-two, is his carpool buddy and a bit on the chunky side. he is not morbidly overweight, nor is he anywhere near the size of cartman from south park. anyways, this really mean bully was picking on video-game-dweeb-numero-two. the poor kid just took it and took it and took it until he was about to cry. Deviant Rascal's temper flipped on quicker than Tyson biting off Holyfield's ear. Deviant Rascal stood up for video-game-dweeb-numero-two since the boy is evidently not capable of doing so himself. (this boy's parental unit must do a better job at teaching video-game-dweeb-numero-two how to handle being bullied.) this lead to a fight between Deviant Rascal and the said bully. Deviant Rascal beat this bitch's ass. he did get thrown on his back and hit his head but is otherwise okay. the other kid had blood everywhere. i'd be lying to yall if i said i wish i hadn't been there. i'd liked to have seen my boy go fool on the bad bully. that's not very mature of me as a big sister to say that, but damnit. i can't help it, i wished i had seen it.

school officials had to write Deviant Rascal up because of their zero tolerance policy on fighting. (which i think is bullshit because you know sometimes it cannot be avoided in these pre-teen and teen children with their hormones riding a free for all roller coaster inside of them.) due to the nature of the write up, he just got 3 days out of school suspension. he wont have to go before the school board or be expelled. the school is using these three days as study days for exams, which will begin his first day back, so he isn't missing anything 'important' in classes. yea he coulda handled it differently, but ... man you know that took balls to stand up to a bully, especially being that Deviant Rascal weighs like 96 lbs soaking wet. i know violence is never the answer, nor do i condone it, but i am proud that my baby brother stood up for what he believed in, for what was right. in a twisted way, i am proud of him. chivalry is not dead yall.

all of this has a splash of irony lying within it, as Deviant Rascal is the bully to his twin brother, Wily Coyote. Wily Coyote takes it and takes it and takes it from Deviant Rascal until they have this massive blowout bigger than Hiroshima. i wonder if this will have any impact on Deviant Rascal's bullying to Wily Coyote? only time will tell.


Grace in Small Things #1 of 365:
i am grateful for chivalry.


ask yourselves, my interweb fwiends. how cute is my wife in her sexy yellow bandana and how cute is she with our wee-one, sophia? all together now,... AWWW!!!

:-(

i wish i could say, "well its another day in the neighborhood, the sun is out, and i'm smiling, farting, and merrily skipping along the way," but i can't. why is that? because i am STILL sick. sinusitis with asthmatic bronchitis is a fucker. a nasty fucker. nastier, meaner, and uglier than my bio-dad ever was. (and that says a lot considering he was the catalyst for all things poisonous, evil, vile, putrid, destructive, and down right heinous.) i am grumpy. so grumpy, in fact, that my eyebrows have taken a step down and are now permanently in the grouchy position. apparently they like their recent move. something about the rent being cheaper or something another. damn betches.


i returned to my abode today, where the wife welcomed me with sarcastic remarks, hugs, and wubs. the children all cuddled up to her, and it felt like i was home again. its MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH better than what was last night. even though i was at my second residence, aka my mama's, in my bed in my room, i was home. but i digress, the boys stayed up late last night playing whatever suped up version of super nintendo they play these days. (idk if its the xbox or ps2 or whatever and personally couldn't give a fart less about it either.) they didn't have school today because they had to leave to go out of town to the beach with members of my extended family for this holiday weekend. i was up on my sister's laptop playing online, lying in my bed with one dog in my belly and another under my arse. (its a single trundle bed so it was a TIIIIIIIIGHT fit.) because i am the sickest of us three sick cildren, i am the one who has not been able to sleep. i can't lie down, it aggravates the bronchitis, but i cant sit up and sleep. its truly a no-win situation. so around 4 am i made them turn off the damn nintendo thingy-majiggy they were playing, i closed the laptop, and lied down with mah two furbabies. i FINALLY found a position that my lungs and nose could agree on to allow me to lie down, breathe through one nostril, and go to sleep. ppppPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPraise jeebus!! what comes next? two words: EPIC FAIL.


so it seems, brother boy (hehe), E, was searching for something on the makeshift bedside table between our two beds. what was on that table? a rather LARGE cup FILLED COMPLETELY with water. pause for a brief moment: remember my stating that the kids in my family were genetically cursed klutzes? further proof of this theory isssssssss.... i got a FULL cup of water in my face, up my nose, in my lungs, ..... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand my cell phone got SOAKED. yeah. there went all hope for getting any kind of decent sleep. we wound up sleeping in the living room because of one soaking wet bed, and karma decided to kick his ass in return for his masterfully executed epic fail... his bronchitis/asthma got riled up BIG TIME and he had to take a breathing treatment. i was able to slept hard as a rock from 5 am until 10 am. that's the MOST sleep i've gotten since this past sunday night.



my grumpy sick ass is going on. i have to get a few things done then i am collapsing and not doing a DAMN thing. please be very safe this weekend and take extra precautions in using your better judgment about any celebratory festivities and driving afterward. please have a designated driver. have fun!!

perfect bliss.

at THIS.PRECISE.MOMENT., my thirteen year old twin brother, A, is living it up in our new $850 jacuzzi whirlpool bathtub. perhaps he is relaxing, you might ponder. alas, my darling interweb stranger friends, he is donning my snorkel mask and breathing tube. my mind's eye sees a precocious three year old splashing his twin brother and squealing with laughter in the bath tub. today i see a thirteen year old on the brink of manhood, snorkeling in my bath tub. this brings a much needed smile to my face after an unexplainable, exceptionally grumpy day today.

I am odd-looking. I sometimes think I look like a funny Muppet. ~Angelina Jolie

for some reason, when i saw this picture of angelina jolie and the muppets, things happened inside of my body that truly excited me. i find this quite odd. a truly funky paring. it does...wierd things to me. anyways, i got the picture from an article about her showing interest in a possible upcoming muppet movie.
i genuinely love going home. the beautifully perfected chaos, my brothers, my sister, my mama, my mawmaw, my crazy aunts, the psycho dog, ofcourse outshined by my two perfect babies. i also love, love, love coming home. its a breath of fresh air. truly. (the country air titilates my nasal cavaties.)
i rescued boy A from shopping in Cola with mama and my sister. he thoroughly appreciated that. boy E was away in sumter at golf camp. i roped boy A into a truly invigorating $30 trip to hobby lobby to pick up some glass for my art class i have tomorrow. (i also managed to score some quite divine four dollar, star shaped sconces for our new house. yay!!)
i met up briefly with our friend, M, who just frikking ROCKS!! he sooo needs to get back on the fire department. (but he's right with his point of 'who can afford voluntarily running calls with gas prices where they are?') i can't wait until C and i can do an investigation with him.
then i met up with my cousin, who i only recently met at dad and terry's funeral. who knew trading family secrets could be so satisfyingly fun?! she's a sweet lady and i am glad that we are getting to know each other better. my mama said she was 'good people,' so i know its okay to actually invest some time and energy into a relationship with her. that makes me very happy. its shocking to find members of that clan who actually have a soul.
news on the house: we have out temporary power pole put up, and the bricks purchased for our foundation. wahoooooooooooo!! and so it begins...(officially... on the land itself, that is...) weekly pictures shall now begin.
well, DHL lost my phone. so after filing a complaint with them and at&t, a refund was immediately given to us, and another (totally free) phone was sent via FedEx. and be damned if they didn't get my phone to me in one and a half days. heck, L's postcard only took five days to get to my house from FRANCE. screw DHL!!
not much longer until florida and we are growing more excited by the day!! yay!! old people, here we come!!