and so it begins.

tale of two dads.

i chose to put up the juno quote because that was Juno's dad who told her that, and it reminded me of my stepdad. so its in honor of steve. the worl'd #1 worst dad,...is, well,.... self explanatory.
as we all know, yesterday was the greeting card fabricated holiday, other wise known as, Father's Day. now, i tried to push this out of my mind. as i did not want to think of my dad. i did, however, mail my step dad a Father's Day card a fewdays ago. but, in all my avoidness coping mechanism, i inexplicably forgot to call my step dad yesterday. so at like 8 am today, i sent him a text that read something like, "thank you for being my real dad."
and later on, he sent me a text back that said something to the effect of, "thank you for being my girl." well, actually, he wrote "gir5," but hey. i have a dad that texts. thats pretty cool in itself.
after the funeral, i told steve that i was sorry that i never allowed him to adopt me. i always had this dumb sense of "loyalty" to my dad. i always thought maybe that if i showed him that i didn't want steve to adopt me, that maybe he would see that. and he would see that i loved him. that i wanted him to love me. but he never did.
i think that's why i always had this fantasy that one day, something atrocious would happen to me, where i needed a liver (well, scratch that, because he was an alcoholic).... where i'd need bone marrow, and he'd show up, save my life, and realize what he'd been missing all those years. and now that he's gone, you know, there is a certain panic that has filled the void of that ridiculous child like fantasy.
am i sorry that he is gone? no. he did it to his own dagnabbed self. am i sorry for the loss of that fantasy? yes. it became somewhat of a comfort to me. there should be some sense of loss, when it comes to deaths. and i assume that there is such a sense for sam, and perhaps even jack, herself. i can honestly say that i never thought that their passings would throw such a monkey wrench into my life.
even after all the years of abuse from this man. there was still some part of me that loved him. yearned for his time, affection, and love. but ya know, i got all of that in steve. every damn bit of it. time. attention. affection. love. respect. dignity. trust. in 26 years of my time time on this earth, never once, did i get any of the before mentionables from richard himself.
he was no dad. he was merely a sperm donor. (jointly now, everybody,..... EWWWWWWWWW!!!!) steve is my dad. and has been for 17 years. so, i hold my glass up to him, and say, "cheers, dad."

good times.

look at what my wife did with our truck. it was our son's bed.









and speaking of our son, here he is in all his glory atop our damn table. this was merely a few hours before he decided to get all froggy and froth at the mouth. good times!!

illusions and delusions.

today was my art class. i was in a siminar with truly great artists. i was seriously out of my league in that class. these people were so genuine. it was great. their spontaneous song singing, in unison, might i add. so here is my (almost finished) project from today. i was inspired by a buddha quote.

the quote was: THREE THINGS CANNOT BE LONG HIDDEN: THE SUN, THE MOON, AND THE TRUTH.

at the top you can kinda see the moon/sun. then at the bottom, the chinese word you see is TRUTH. on the top corners are the words HUMANITY and COMPASSION. different types of glass were used, along with mirrors. i had to cut them into bits and pieces. (although i did help from the WONDERFUL artist who taught the class.) i still have to let it dry, then grout it. but all in all, its not so shabby!!

i was inevitably reminded of a golden girls episode. (because, when am i not?) i snuck in my own smirk, thanks to mah golden girls.

oh and omg. on the way to bamberg, i saw this trailor park, that had an "oasis island" in the front, facing the highway. ....just. wow. what can i say to that?

because of you.

because of you snuck up on me on my playlist, just a minute ago. (fyi- i TOTALLY hate this song, for obvious reasons -dickhead- even though its sung by my two favorite girls.) so, i look up suicide girls on photobucket to cheer myself up. an, lawsy!! mission accomplished!!

I am odd-looking. I sometimes think I look like a funny Muppet. ~Angelina Jolie

for some reason, when i saw this picture of angelina jolie and the muppets, things happened inside of my body that truly excited me. i find this quite odd. a truly funky paring. it does...wierd things to me. anyways, i got the picture from an article about her showing interest in a possible upcoming muppet movie.
i genuinely love going home. the beautifully perfected chaos, my brothers, my sister, my mama, my mawmaw, my crazy aunts, the psycho dog, ofcourse outshined by my two perfect babies. i also love, love, love coming home. its a breath of fresh air. truly. (the country air titilates my nasal cavaties.)
i rescued boy A from shopping in Cola with mama and my sister. he thoroughly appreciated that. boy E was away in sumter at golf camp. i roped boy A into a truly invigorating $30 trip to hobby lobby to pick up some glass for my art class i have tomorrow. (i also managed to score some quite divine four dollar, star shaped sconces for our new house. yay!!)
i met up briefly with our friend, M, who just frikking ROCKS!! he sooo needs to get back on the fire department. (but he's right with his point of 'who can afford voluntarily running calls with gas prices where they are?') i can't wait until C and i can do an investigation with him.
then i met up with my cousin, who i only recently met at dad and terry's funeral. who knew trading family secrets could be so satisfyingly fun?! she's a sweet lady and i am glad that we are getting to know each other better. my mama said she was 'good people,' so i know its okay to actually invest some time and energy into a relationship with her. that makes me very happy. its shocking to find members of that clan who actually have a soul.
news on the house: we have out temporary power pole put up, and the bricks purchased for our foundation. wahoooooooooooo!! and so it begins...(officially... on the land itself, that is...) weekly pictures shall now begin.
well, DHL lost my phone. so after filing a complaint with them and at&t, a refund was immediately given to us, and another (totally free) phone was sent via FedEx. and be damned if they didn't get my phone to me in one and a half days. heck, L's postcard only took five days to get to my house from FRANCE. screw DHL!!
not much longer until florida and we are growing more excited by the day!! yay!! old people, here we come!!

its hotter than dog shit in a skillet.

mr dhl man has yet to arrive. patience, i must learn again. *breathes in, breathes out*

today was a good day, we went and visited with the in-laws and had a nice time. we talked about our impending florida trip. excitement and anticipation is brewing. only eight more days. wow, i can't believe it!! my, how time flies!!

my future wife is on million dollar password tonight, WooT!!