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Thursday, October 23, 2008

wrecklessness.

holy be-jesus! attack of the psycho aunt, seriously, yall. so the story i have is un-effing-believable. i go home, to find that the aunt and grandmother have obtained a new/used vehicle that is nice. a sleek saturn van with all the bells and whistles. but, i digress. i take twin A to accompany me to the gathering place Saturday night. while in the company of the other aunt, the uncle, the cousin, and the rest of the hippie crowd, a good time ensued,...or so i mistakenly thought.
Sunday morning rolls around, and i am rudely bombarded by a crazy tirade. the aunt in question bombarded my Mama's house, knowing it was only myself and the twins who were present and accounted for in the house. she unloaded on me with both barrels, accusing me with such preposterous lies that stung my heart like salt covered nails in a gaping flesh wound behind the knee. her delusions were as grandiose and real as all of walt disney's fables. she knew which buttons to mash, knowing what damages it would inflict upon me. the despicable lies rolled off her tongue as easily as water off of a duck's back. it was scary. to know that somebody whom you love can willfully strike such pain down upon you is scary as it gets.
i'm unsure what event transpired, or if any, but come Tuesday, my phone rang alive with an apology. albeit at first the wrong apology, the correct one found its way to my ears. i'd like to believe it was inspired by a word of prayer from my own female co-creator. either way, an apology was given. miscommunications were corrected, but forgiveness not given. the barbs of pain damaged my heart too much to be easily erased by a mere apology. only time can fade that into a soon forgotten scar that will be blended in amongst the rest.
i am unsure as to what the purpose of all of this drama was. what was my lesson to be learned? as it wasn't i who begun any of this, so i am unsure what to think. perhaps it serves as a reminder of what i could be, if i let loose my own anger. and buddha knows, that just isn't happenin'. what i do know is that the tide still turns.
thursday, C will be in charleston visiting a loved one on life support. she's hoping for the best, but bracing for the worst. its a tragedy all around. pain bounces around like children on a trampoline; wild, uncaring, free, careless, and wreckless. my heart goes out to her, and the family this tragedy was cast upon.


The ranks of the stars move in progression, the sun and the moon shine in turn, the four seasons succeed each other in good order, the yin and yang go through their great transformations, and the wind and the rain pass over the whole land... -Xunzi

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